Be Where You Are

Here we are, the two of us together….Isn’t that a song?  ANY WHO! that’s not why I’m here.  This is not a post on my best karaoke tips.  I know you’d love to have them, because if you ain’t know, your girl can shut down a karaoke room, okay? Ask that table of old ladies from Orlando, summer 2K15. On a serious note, this post is more of a reminder. I’m here to share how my mood went from sugar to shit and back to sugar in a matter of minutes, as a result of over thinking.

I was sitting in my women’s group and we were discussing having kids, growing in God, reaping our harvest, and things of that nature.  We got on the topic of comparison and how it can kill your joy.  That was when the question came about if we can recall a time we found ourselves comparing our harvest to another person’s.  Immediately, all hands went up.  Then we all began to share.

My story was from a recent experience.  Like to hear it, here it go:

If you don’t know me by now (see what I did there?), I’m a social worker.  I love what I do, and am constantly looking at ways I can grow in my career field.  I work in an office setting with majority of women.  And we women are all from different backgrounds, and ages.  I not only know this from observation, but also from engaging in various conversations and discussions.  There’s always a random moment of laughter from something that is the absolute most random, yet funny at the same time.  But in my line of work, you have to laugh to keep from crying.


Majority of those who work around me are either married, with kids, or without kids.  I fit into not a one of those categories.  I don’t know exactly when the comparison critters moved into my head, but all within a day I found myself asking questions.  Why am I not married?  Will I ever get married?  Here I’ am 30, and why don’t I have kids?  Why am I not coming home to anybody?  Listen guys, I was getting so bogged down in their stories, I was failing to see how good I have it.  I was literally sitting and entertaining these questions.  All the while, inviting every negative notion and feeling to come in and make itself at home.  Next thing I knew, I was all in my feelings.

[SIDENOTE:  I only allow myself to be in my feelings during the hours of 1-4AM].


I’m sure we all can relate to a time of being in our feelings.  I’m not saying don’t acknowledge those feelings, but please take responsibility in recognizing that you are the only one who can put you in that place.  I believe if I can get into something, I can also get out of it.

So I made a list.  My list was comprised of things that make me happy, and things I currently have to be grateful for.  In making the list I noticed the exact things I was upset over are on my To Accomplish List.  My list was a reminder to be happy in my current season, with my current harvest.  Just because I don’t have a baby growing in my belly, or a child running up to me as I enter into my home from work, or Michael B. Jordan running my warm bath water with rose petals and bubbles, doesn’t mean it’s not going to happen.  It’s just not my season…..Yet!

Back to sugar.

I laughed at how I forgot the simple, basic rule of being grateful for my now.  I have to be where I’ am.  It is so easy to get wrapped up in what the next person is doing, or what they have.  All the while, not knowing their struggles behind what they have.  I realized I’m not lacking in anything.  What is in store for me will come when it’s time.  I can’t sit here and act like I don’t have bad days or haven’t seen hard times.  I have them, and I’ve been through some things.  I’ve come to find out we all struggle, they’re just from different places.

In me sharing my story, one wise woman in the group said, ‘You never know how many people have made comparisons towards you.’  And she’s right, I don’t know.  So, with that being said, stop comparing!  It. Kills.  Remember where you are and be grateful for that. Just as sure as the seasons change, just know your season is coming, too.

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